Government Climate Committee Says Let’s Go Back to Being a Nice Forest

Maybe we should stop trying to compete with the world and go back to eating things that hang low down on trees is the sort-of conclusion reached by the UK's official governmental Committee on Climate Change, which actually says we should put the brakes on agriculture and double our efforts to reforest the land. Read More >>

Eccleston Threatened to Sue the BBC Over Doctor Who Exit

Christopher Eccleston is clearly still a bit aggrieved about the way he exited the rebooted Doctor Who at the end of the first run of the renewed show, and he's finally revealed what his beef with the corporation and its showrunners was. Read More >>

Follow the Range Rovers of the Future, They Know When the Lights are Changing

This idea has the ring of something that would have been demonstrated on Tomorrow's World in 1983 inside an Austin Montego, but Jaguar Land Rover seems to think it's new and only possible thanks to today's connectivity options. It foresees a time in the future when the Jags and the Range Rovers are able to tell their drivers how fast to go in order to hit the next set of traffic lights bang on green. Bang on. A life changer for men with suit jackets hanging in the back. Read More >>

McDonald’s Scientists Debut Method of Getting More Chocolate Bits on Ice Cream

People looking to fatten themselves up to stay warm through the winter are being given a helping hand to bulk up by McDonald's, which has revealed a new innovation in the world of adding varying sized lumps and crumbled pieces of branded products to its desserts range. Read More >>

Brexit Lowers Quality of Christmas 2018’s Mince Pies

The best behaved and most loyal staff at consumer watchdog Which? have been allowed at the supermarket mince pies again this year, as the annual list of best and worst Christmas treats has been compiled for our benefit and enlightenment. Read More >>

Mexico Warns Elon Musk About Infringing Tequila’s Trademarks

People in charge of protecting Mexican heritage beverage tequila would rather not be associated with Elon Musk's bizarre attempt to created his own-brand version of the drink, warning that as a locally protected and recognisable trademark anything akin to Musk's proposed "Teslaquila" effort would be legally besieged with claims from day one. Read More >>

Iceland Not Against Using Orangutans for Publicity Purposes Now

Iceland, international friend, spokesperson for and protector of the orangutans all of a sudden, has decided it's now a great idea to parade an orangutan around the UK's cities for our amusement, seeing as the fuss about the rebranded Greenpeace palm oil advert went significantly viral this week. But it's OK, no need to fire up change.org in a rage; it's an animatronic orangutan. Read More >>

15-Year-Old Gets Points on Non-Existent Driving Licence for Electric Scootering

The coming of the age of the electric scooter is bringing some tedious administrative problems into the lives of their oblivious riders, what with the popular gadgets not allowed by law to be used on anything other than a private bit of land. And Argos not doing a very good job of communicating this boring legislative fact to buyers. Read More >>

Sugar Worriers Want to End 1,200 Calorie Horror Shakes

Milkshakes with bits of biscuit in them, marshmallows on top that you eat with a chocolate spoon, fruit sauces and various additional fructose reductions are the latest target of anti-sugar campaigners, who would like the government's war on unhealthy eating to be expanded to cover the hellish world of the "freakshake" treat. Read More >>

Workers Union Warns on Looming Threat of Human Microchipping

For reasons we don't really understand, someone at the Trades Union Congress has started talking about microchipping for humans as part of the business world's next grasp at our privacy and data, as if this is likely to happen any time soon. Read More >>

The Wrong Kind of Cannabis Restaurant is Coming the UK

A complicated kind of modern restaurant proposition is opening in Brighton soon, going by the name of The Canna Kitchen. It's a veggie and vegan restaurant with a twist. The twist being it's serving food flavoured with cannabis products, seeing as we're all permissive about that sort of thing now. Read More >>

95-Year-Old Bletchley Codebreaker Still Saying Nothing, Just in Case

Margaret Wilson is one of the remaining few who manned the wires at Bletchley Park during WWII, where she worked as a radio operator listening to German broadcasts for clues and encoded messages. And she's still not saying anything about it because her boss said not to. Read More >>

Dairy Crest’s Cheesy Stink Awakens Cornish Villagers

A Cornish creamery conducting cheese-related dairy business near the Cornish village of Davidstow has been kicking up a literal stink, with residents complaining that some odd nighttime process is making the air smell so bad it's waking them up, making them feel ill, and stopping them getting back to sleep. Read More >>

Berners-Lee Says Enforced Random Social Media Friends Might Make us Behave

Sir Tim Berners-Lee, who spends most of his time looking at a computer through gaps in his hands while sobbing "WHY?" to the advertising bots that monitor his webcam, has had a small idea that could make the social media world marginally less corrosive to the souls of its human customers. He says we should be encouraged to befriend strangers, as then we might behave a bit better. Read More >>

Banks Are Trying to Hack Themselves Today in Cyber-Attack War Game

Around 40 of the UK's largest banks and financial institutions are having a bit of a fun afternoon of hacking today, with the Bank of England leading a simulated cyber-attack on the financial industry to see what happens. Or what might happen. Read More >>