Fossil Hunter Discovers Flying Dinosaur on the Isle of Wight

People who get excited about dinosaurs are excited about a very small part of a dinosaur that's been uncovered, not because it's new or contains genetic material that could be used to bring it back to life and raised for gourmet burger meat, but because it was found on the Isle of Wight. Read More >>

EU Lawlords Put O2 and Three Merger Back on the Cards

The European Court of Justice has thrown out an earlier European Commission antitrust ruling that barred mobile giants O2 and Three from merging, freeing parent companies Hutchison and Telefonica to have another shot at synergising at boardroom level should they remain pumped for that sort of thing. Read More >>

900 Acre Solar Farm Agreed for Kent Coast

The government has given a controversial plan for a solar farm the go ahead, with the mammoth 900 acre site set to be the country's largest array of panels by some margin; and requiring the biggest battery we've ever seen too. Read More >>

Premier League Agrees Restart and Shock Deal to Show Live Games on the BBC

The Premier League has finally agreed to get the 19/20 season underway again and gently massaged to a climax, as top-tier football is set to return on June 17. If you count Aston Villa and Sheffield United as top-tier. A-ha. A little football joke for you there. Please don't knife me. Read More >>

Drug Dealers Turn to Dark Web to Shift Their Unauthorised Stress Relievers

A near 500 per cent increase in listings for illegal drug sales on the dark web has been spotted by researchers, who say the nation's dealers are all having crash courses in onion browsing and underground marketplaces to shift their wares online; safer and easier than pretending to be a delivery driver and making failed attempts at blending in. Read More >>

Porn Filters Save Dominic Cummings From Additional Heap of Shame

The least popular outside advisor since Yoko Ono was saved additional online shaming by the social networks' automatic pornographic filters, which decided that they did not want to fill their sidebars up with variations on the name Cummings. Read More >>

Popularity of Online Food Shopping Doubles Year-on-Year

Coronavirus lockdown has helped internet food shopping hit new highs, with online supermarket grocery sales for the four week period ending May 16 very nearly doubling to take 13 per cent of all our shopping spend; up from the same period of last year's seven per cent. Read More >>

BBC News’ “Corona Bot” Will Answer Questions You Already Know the Answers to

The BBC has launched something it calls the "Corona Bot," in the form of a Facebook autoresponder with the alleged ability to answer questions about the current Covid-19 situation. Obviously it is rubbish and barely works and makes you wonder why they bothered at all, such is this weird world in which we must pretend AI is real. Read More >>

Japan Plans Possible Flight Subsidies to Boost Tourism When/If Any Form of Normal Returns

Japan's tourism chiefs have revealed a quite staggering yet entirely believable modern statistic, showing that incoming tourism during the month of April fell by... go on, have a guess... 99.9 per cent. That left a mere 2,900 overseas travellers entering the country for a massively ill-advised and no doubt quite bizarre holiday during the month. Read More >>

The Free Edinburgh Fringe Launches Online Video Portal

The Free Edinburgh Fringe part of the summer comedy proceedings within the Scottish city are to go online, in a way, promising to broadcast the sets of "six prominent comedians" via Twitch streams. Read More >>

Land Registry Faces Shaming Over £4.8m Amazon Web Contract

The bosses of the UK's Land Registry are accused of doing something that looks perhaps a little dodgy, after revealing a £4.8m deal with Amazon Web Services to host its work. The problem being that Amazon UK's boss is also a non-executive director of the Land Registry, implying, to the casual observer, that some shady lunch meetings may have been had to cook up a cosy deal. As if we ever thought otherwise. Read More >>

Lockdown Barber Shops Ordered to Close by Trading Standards

A war led by the BBC on barber shops caught defying the lockdown to offer haircuts has ended, after the local trading standards department ordered the closing of around 20 rule-flouting hairdressers. Read More >>

China Says the UK Will “Pay Price” if Huawei is Booted Out of 5G Builds

A tough-talking opinion piece in propaganda paper China Daily has warned that the UK faces "retaliatory responses" of some sort should the government further toughen its stance on Huawei, adding that we will "pay price" should the Chinese tech firm find itself frozen out of future infrastructure deals. Read More >>

Scottish Island Hospital Tests 10-Mile Drone Delivery of Protective Equipment

What looks like a proper, useful, and entirely legitimate trial of drone delivery technology (rather than an advert for a pizza company) is about to take place on the Isle of Mull, where the local hospital will take delivery of protective equipment by air. Read More >>

“Cummings Effect” Blamed for Packed Bank Holiday Monday Beaches

That weird panicked vole of a man who's about to bring down the government is being blamed for a mass return to seaside sunbathing, with the crowds of beachgoers seen on our shores this weekend thought to be using the new-for-2020 excuse that goes something like "Dominic Cummings said it was OK for me to use my judgement and decide it's fine to sit here with three beers, some crisps, several children and a sandwich." Read More >>