The NHS Needs the Blood of the Sickest Coronavirus Survivors

The NHS is launching a blood donation push, only this time it's after an unusually specific type; it needs large quantities of the blood of people who were hospitalised from severe covid-19 reactions, so antibodies may be extracted and streamed into the bodies of today's sickest victims. Read More >>

Nissan and E.ON Have Another Go at Vehicle-to-Grid Power Systems

The cars of Nissan and the electricity of E.ON are being combined to launch yet another trial of a vehicle-to-grid local energy solution, this time conducting a test that suggests mass fleets of company cars should all be plugged in when they arrive at work – to use cheap overnight power charged while at home to run the workplaces of the near future. Read More >>

Wrexham Pharma Base Wins Race to Start Manufacturing Covid-19 Vaccines

A grey little factory in North Wales may be about to play a key part in rescuing us from the tedium of social network face mask shaming, as Wrexham's CP Pharmaceuticals is clearing the decks and preparing to take on the job of manufacturing mass doses of any covid-19 vaccine that aces trials and is deemed safe for the population. Read More >>

2020 London Marathon Closed to Casuals Who May Only Compete Virtually

The 45,000 people dressed as post boxes, video game characters, turkeys, Laurel & Hardy and so on are out of luck this year, as the delayed 2020 London Marathon has now been cancelled altogether for club and charitable runners. Only the elites will take part, on a 1.5-mile closed loop around Buckingham Palace. Read More >>

Government Decides Against Evicting Devon Beaver Families

A five-year study into the activities of beavers within East Devon has decided they're as awesome for things in general as everyone is always saying they are, with the Devon Wildlife Trust's report convincing the government to say the creatures may stay and continue doing... their wet things. Read More >>

Uber Buys Autocab, its Largest Competitor in the UK

Autocab, an Uber-like booking system for independent taxi firms and drivers that don't want to accept the Uber Ts&Cs, is no longer independent. It has been bought by Uber, with the app giant spending an undisclosed amount of money to get hold of the rival and its iGo driver marketplace system. Read More >>

William Hill Shuts 119 Shops for Good

Legitimate high street face of gambling William Hill has said it will not bother reopening 119 of its betting sites – expanding on last year's pre-pandemic closures – as it expects fewer customers to return to its dens of sporting loss even when the pandemic is but a weird, distant memory. Read More >>

Children’s Commissioner Says Schools Should be Top Reopening Priority

England's children's commissioner has waded into the war on what to close next with her red pen and star chart, and has told politicians that the schools ought to be the very last things to shut down again should coronavirus begin to spread anew as autumn kicks in. Read More >>

Scottish Courts Test Streaming Jury Trials to Cinema Screens

The Scottish courts might have found a use for all the closed-up cinemas that are patiently waiting for any films to come out, thanks to a test run of a fake jury trial that streamed proceedings to a cinema; allowing all the jury members and court staff to enjoy the thrill of the case in a socially-distanced manner. Read More >>

EasyJet Says We’re Bang Up for Holidays so More Flights are Coming

EasyJet is benefiting from the UK population's desperation to escape their living rooms, the fraught Tesco queues and endless solo exercise loops of the last disastrous quarter, and is upping its capacity faster than anticipated to meet demand for the thing we used to know as a holiday. Read More >>

Virgin Atlantic Files for US Bankruptcy Protection

Virgin Atlantic is teetering on the brink of a disastrous financial stall, and has applied to US authorities for bankruptcy protection for the overseas chunks of its business. Read More >>

Hackers Steal Data from UK Dentists, Perhaps Including Patient Notes

Something exciting has happened to the British Dental Association. It has announced that it's been the victim of what it describes as a "cyber incident," one that's seen the BDA take the extreme measure of closing its entire web site while it phones around to try to get an appointment with an emergency systems analyst. Read More >>

These Lads Have Bollocksed the UK’s E-Scooter Trials Already

You won't believe... no actually you will 100 per cent believe what's happened in the UK's first officially-sanctioned electric scooter trial area, as reports are coming in that underage kids are circumventing the hire restrictions in order to have a laugh, smash about the place, worry the elderly and leave the abused e-scooters in locations not exactly designated in the rental firm's guidelines. Read More >>

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Drayton Manor Sold and Survives to Mildly Thrill Another Day

The Drayton Manor group, which was facing a multitude of problems – including but not limited to coronavirus, localised flooding, the shocking death of a child on its Splash Canyon ride in 2017 and threat of prosecution from the Health and Safety Executive, and having to pay the wages of 600 people in these effing types of days – has been bought, rescuing the group from administration and ensuring there's somewhere too busy to go in Staffordshire next summer, or even this summer if you're mental. Read More >>

Openreach Says Don’t Forget About Tonnes of Money for Full-Fibre

Openreach CEO Clive Selley, who coincidentally used to be chief executive of the tech division of entirely unrelated UK communications business BT, is getting a little stressed that the promised billions that were supposed to be helping pay for a full-fibre network have not yet arrived. Read More >>