Paris Wants Breakdancing in the 2024 Olympics

The Paris 2024 organising committee has added "breakdancing" to the bottom of a list of sports it's planning to do and is hoping no one notices, declaring its intention to add the athletic dancing format to the Olympics-after-next. Read More >>

A Vegan Cream Egg is Set to be 2019’s Next Alt-Food Smash

This is a cream egg not a Creme Egg before you start, as it has nothing to do with the Cadbury option. It's a hand-injected or hand-slapped together independent cream-filled egg assembled by a family team in Cottingham, East Yorkshire, that is now available to buy online for the first time to satisfy the unmet Easter needs of vegans across the country. Read More >>

MPs Warn High Street is Coming Like a Ghost Town

A group of MPs who submit expenses for attending meetings under the brand of the Housing, Communities and Local Government Committee have warned again on the state of the UK high street, and have, yet again, said what we really need is more in online sales taxes to hit the digital sellers and reinvest the takings in rates cuts for bricks & mortar trades. Read More >>

Good Old “Disgruntled Employee” Theory Attached to Gatwick Drone Attacker

Investigators from Sussex Police and helpers from the government have leaked their current thinking on last year's Gatwick shutdown, with investigators now leaning towards blaming a furious former or perhaps current employee for causing the aerial melt. Read More >>

Lynx Tries Whispering Male Body Positivity for its 2019 Adverts

Former bad boy of advertising Lynx is a reformed character nowadays, don't you know, to such an extent that it's putting its 2019 advertising money into a series of ads that encourage men to but headphones on, listen very carefully, and experiment with shaving parts of their body only usually depilated by workers in specialist trades. Read More >>

Virgin Atlantic Flight Tops 800mph

A Virgin Atlantic 787 Dreamliner running from from Los Angeles to London has set an astonishing new speed record thanks to the good old mysteries of the jet stream, hitting a maximum speed of 801mph in tailwinds at 35,000 feet above the US. Read More >>

Sainsbury’s and Asda May be Blocked From Merging

The Competition and Markets Authority has been weighing up the pros and cons of allowing Sainsbury's and Asda to conduct a super-merger of themselves, and appears to be slowly moving towards blocking the deal entirely. Read More >>

Citroen Reveals a Tiny EV for Commuting From Your Doorstep to Your Real Car

Citroen's reworking of its ancient Ami can't really be described as a car, even though it does lots of car things like having wheels in each corner and a roof and the ability to move under its own power. The Ami One concept is limited to just 28mph, so its quirky shell need not be tested under usual car safety rules, as it would surely crumple like the foil tray of a mince pie. Read More >>

We’d Boycott 5G if We Knew What’s Good for Us

It seems like only yesterday I was annoyed about being stuck on a 2G connection while the rest of the country appeared to be upgrading to 4G. Now it's happening again, only it's 5G the mobile executives are taking about preparing now. And I'm still on the same 2G connection. Read More >>

Captain Britain Blags Way onto Royal Mail’s Marvel Stamps

The Royal Mail is about to issue an entire set of stamps featuring the greatest Marvel characters of all time, including the likes of Hulk, Spider-Man, Thor, Doctor Strange and, er Captain Britain? Read More >>

MPs Call for 1p New Trousers Tax

Those new trousers people buy that have holes in the knees on purpose should be taxed a bit more, says a group of MPs, which would like a 1p-per-item charge added to the sales price of all new clothes to pay for the old ones that have the wrong sort of unfashionable holes in them, or just aren't stylish enough to wear any more, to be recycled. Read More >>

All of NatWest is Sorry for Staff Member’s Vegan-Punching Verbal Rampage

NatWest has cranked up the apology machine and even gone so far as to issue financial compensation to a customer, after one of its staff members told a woman on the phone that "all vegans should be punched in the face." Read More >>

Thieves Steal Exhaust Pipes Off Cars Now

Data recording crimes against cars seems to suggest there's a new type of attack on our rolling armchairs underway, with criminals now sawing off lumps of exhaust pipe to sell on for scrap. Read More >>

HS2 Has Already Spent £5.5bn

Developers of HS2 have already managed to spend £5.5bn on the next big thing in UK railways, and that's before any of the important work is done like... the building of the railway. And the... getting of the trains. And the... construction of the stations. Read More >>

BA Brings Back BOAC

The arrival of flight BA100 from Dublin to Heathrow marked quite a moment in history for aeroplane enthusiasts today, as the plane landed decked out in a classic retro BOAC paint job designed to mark the centenary celebrations of the national airline created from many forerunner air transport companies. Read More >>