Booze Runs to France are Still a Thing With the Glass-o’-Wine Set

People in the parts of the UK that are near enough to France to get the car over and back in a day are still doing exactly that, as booze runs that take advantage of cheap French wine warehouses are very much still happening – even as those very same people in those very same Vauxhall Merivas try to stop anything foreign entering the country via their lovely old Brexit. Read More >>

The Brexit App Will Finally Work on iPhones by the End of the Year

All the way back in November, we wrote about the fact that the very important smartphone app required to apply for 'settled status' in the UK after Brexit only works on Android phones, because Apple wouldn't allow the NFC chip in iPhones to be used in the way it required. Read More >>

UK Jaguar Land Rover Staff Start Compulsory Brexit Holiday

All of Jaguar Land Rover's UK production lines have shut down today. But just for a week. It's part of the firm's Brexit-preparedness efforts, agreed months back to get staff to down tools to stop making cars for a week, lest it end up with more cars than it can possibly sell in the fluid near futures of the infinite Brexit scenarios and the schisms they may, or may not, open up. Read More >>

Psychic Terrorist Uri Geller Claims Responsibility for Parliamentary Leak

Self-certified psychic Uri Geller says he's taking the Brexit disruption process into his own hands, and is claiming responsibility for the leak in parliament yesterday that disrupted our perpetual state of politics. Read More >>

Uri Geller Suggests Starting a Telepathic War on Brexit

Uri Geller has come up with an idea about how to get the right sort of Brexit everyone wants – thinking really hard about it and bombarding Theresa May with telepathic messages. Apparently this works? Read More >>

Queen’s Reject Toilet Rolls Embraced by Croydon School

A batch of German toilet roll rejected by the Queen – or the Queen's official toilet roll softness tester at least – has found a welcoming home in the cubicles of a school. Read More >>

9 Out of 10 UK Women Would Rather Date a Brexit Remainer

Here's a tip for those of you updating your dating profiles: if you voted Remain in the EU referendum, give it a mention. Data from OKCupid shows that a full 89% of British women say they're more likely to date a remainer than a Brexiteer. Read More >>

Lego is Stockpiling Bricks for Brexit

All the big companies are bracing for Brexit, and it seems our favourite purveyors of plastic bricks are no exception. Read More >>

Of Course Mums are Stockpiling Tea Bags for Brexit

Some poor data-analyst has been given the job of trawling through the archives of Mumsnet, to populate a list of the most-stockpiled goods the mothers of the nation are hoarding in case of post-Brexit supply chain collapse and mild apocalypse breaking out. Obviously, us being us, the number one most saved-up item is the tea bag. You don't want to have to resort to a supermarket own-brand alternative or, worse still, one of those herbal ones that's been in the cupboard for three years. That'd be worse than WWIII breaking out. Read More >>

Can You Really Eat Mouldy Food Like Theresa May Reportedly Does?

Have you ever come across some particularly tasty food in the fridge, only to be bummed out that it’s all mouldy? Well, if you’re the Prime Minister it doesn’t faze you in the slightest. Read More >>

Heathrow Stockpiles Rubber Gloves for Post-Brexit Cavity Searches

The UK rubber glove manufacturing industry is not what it once was, hence Heathrow airport says it's starting to build up a stockpile of the hand prophylactics in case of a supply chain collapse post-Brexit. Read More >>

Government Admits Nissan Was Offered A Massive Brexit Handout

Nissangate continues with the news that as previously suspected, the government had offered Nissan a huge pile of cash to manufacture its new car in the UK. Read More >>

Nissan Confirms New Model Won’t Be Made In The UK Anymore

As was widely rumoured on Saturday, Nissan has confirmed that its new model of the X-Trail SUV will be manufactured in Japan, rather than in Sunderland as originally planned. Read More >>

Nissan ‘To Cancel Manufacturing New Model In The UK’

It looks like Nissan is about to cancel investment in its Sunderland manufacturing plant, where it had promised to build the new model of X-Trail SUV. Read More >>