Lockdown Eases Up: Six People Can Meet Outside and in Private Outdoor Spaces From June 1

Lockdown is about to get a bit more bearable under the new guidelines which the Prime Minister announced yesterday. So fire up the barbecue and dust off those social skills. Read More >>

The Internet Reacts to Dominic Cummings’ Trip to Barnard Castle With Slew of Fake Tripadvisor Reviews

In case you missed it, Dominic Cummings is getting reamed right now for his antics of driving with his family to Durham during lockdown, and nipping to Barnard Castle - 30 miles away - before driving them back to London, on a round trip made with the explicit purpose of testing his eyesight. Whilst exhibiting coronavirus symptoms along with his wife. Read More >>

Lockdown Exit Strategy Will See Non-Essential Shops Open Their Doors on June 15

Boris Johnson's lockdown exit plan is forging ahead with step two next month, with plans for more kids to be sent back to school and the phased reopening of shops. Read More >>

Government Starting to Realise its Plan to Get Kids Back in School Next Month is Ridiculous

The government's plan to get young kids back in school from June 1 has gone down about as well as a fart in a perfume store, and now that everyone has been huffing on it for a while, they've decided it's not for them. Read More >>

UK Coronavirus Lockdown: Boris Johnson Lays out New Rules and Exit Strategy

Boris brushed his hair to deliver his latest monologue to the nation last night, and apparently it was the most put together thing about his speech that appears to have befuddled everyone, so allow us to help cut through the crap. Read More >>

Boris Johnson Says He’ll Have a Coronavirus Lockdown Exit Plan Next Week

In his coronavirus briefing yesterday, Boris Johnson said the government is working on a lockdown exit strategy but that it won't roll out until five conditions have been met. Read More >>

Coronavirus: Professor Panics Everyone By Saying Social Distancing Measures Could Last Until 2021

During a recent briefing with underling and foreign secretary Dominic Raab, Professor Chris Whitty was wheeled out to give his two penny's worth on the situation and now everyone thinks we're going to stuck in lockdown until next year. Well done on undoing the baby steps approach the government has taken so far by spreading potential panic. Where's Ofcom when you need it? Read More >>

Fake NHS Twitter Accounts Weren’t Fabricated by the Government, Says Department of Health

Someone, somewhere has goofed, with the discovery of 128 fake accounts masquerading as NHS workers reportedly pushing for herd immunity, and then pivoting to calls for the country to reopen. Read More >>

UK Lockdown to Continue for at Least Another Three Weeks

Unsurprisingly, the lockdown here in the UK is being extended as the Prime Minister's right-hand man says that lifting it now would "risk damage to both public health and the economy". Read More >>

UK Parliament Has Plans to Go Virtual According to Commons Speaker

The House of Commons is due to reconvene soon, but as we're still in crisis mode, having a bunch of toffs huddled in a room spraying spittle all the place as they bray at one another isn't exactly ideal. So a virtual solution is in the works. Read More >>

MPs Get £10k for Remote Working Expenses as Matt Hancock Shuts Down NHS Pay Review

For some mind-boggling reason, MPs have been allowed to claim an extra £10,000 in expenses to 'help' them work from home during the lockdown. This is days after health secretary Matt Hancock said that the global pandemic isn't a good time for him to be discussing nurses getting a pay increase. Read More >>

Boris Johnson Transferred to Intensive Care After His Coronavirus Symptoms Get Worse

The Prime Minister was moved to the ICU at St Thomas' Hospital in London last night, although officials say he's not so bad that he needs a ventilator, and is in "very good hands". Read More >>

Rees-Mogg’s Banker Chums Told to Expect Mass Coronavirus Profits

A mere hour ago the coronavirus had us in the odd position of experiencing something akin to empathy for Boris Johnson, but that's all dried up now. Because his best chum Jacob Rees-Mogg stands accused of using his investment business to promote the huge amounts of money to be made, should financial markets ever bounce back from their current depression-level of crash. Read More >>

Boris Johnson Hospitalised for Coronavirus Treatment

The celebrity coronavirus case known as the UK prime minister has seen his health worsen, with a government spokesperson revealing that Boris Johnson was admitted to hospital on Sunday evening due to concerns over his "persistent symptoms." Read More >>

Credit Card and Loan Payments Could Be Frozen If FCA’s New Package Is Approved

The Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) is suggesting that a temporary payment freeze be applied on loans and credit cards for up to three months to ensure customers who are facing extra financial pressure due to coronavirus don't get shafted. Read More >>