Charity Watchdog Investigates Church’s £91 Plague Protection Oil

The Charity Commission is sending a list of important and we might imagine impossible-to-answer questions to Bishop Climate Wiseman, who runs the Kingdom Church as a charity group in south London. Wiseman's been rumbled selling what he describes as "plague protection oil" for £91, which he says convinces God to get off his arse and protect the owner from coronavirus infection. Read More >>

Coronavirus Cases Hit 1 Million Worldwide as Deaths Top 50,000

The world reached two sombre milestones today. There have now been more than 1 million reported cases of covid-19, the pandemic disease caused by a newly discovered coronavirus. Earlier in the day, the reported death toll climbed past 50,000. Both numbers undersell the damage that covid-19 has wrought globally in the span of only a few months. Read More >>

Scientists Are Testing Nitric Oxide to Treat Coronavirus Patients

Scientists in the US, Italy, and elsewhere are experimenting with a familiar medical treatment for the new problem of covid-19. They’ve begun clinical trials meant to find out whether inhaled nitric oxide can save people who are severely sick from the new coronavirus. This treatment might even be used preventatively to keep health care workers infection-free. Read More >>

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Researchers Built an App That Aims to Detect Covid-19 by Listening to Your Coughs

One of the major problems right now with tackling the novel coronavirus is that tests aren’t widely available for everyone. To help fix that, researchers from Carnegie Mellon University in the US have developed a free, experimental app that uses artificial intelligence to detect whether a person may or may not have covid-19. Read More >>

Goats Retake Streets and Perform Vital Hedge Trimming While Humans Hide Indoors

The streets of the UK are beginning to look a bit like those of Pripyat right now, as people stay at home, the verges stay untrimmed, and wildlife is tentatively returning to areas it once roamed before we tarmacked the place over and put the natural springs down pipes in the 1950s. Read More >>

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The Coronavirus Outbreak Has Put the Comics Industry Between a Rock and a Hard Place

In the UK, comic book stores have had to close their doors alongside all other non-essential reteailers. In the United States, more and more comic book stores are also having to close their doors because of the ongoing covid-19 outbreak – whether that’s due to state restrictions or an actual lack of new product. One of the biggest questions looming has been what, if any, steps publishers and distributors like Diamond might be able to do to help shops weather the ongoing storm. The answer, of course, is somewhat complicated. Read More >>

Chiropractors Told to Stop Pretending They Can Treat Covid-19

Chiropractors in Canada and elsewhere are being told to stop advertising their services as a treatment for covid-19, the illness caused by the new coronavirus. Read More >>

WHSmith Pivots to Essential Commodities Pasta and Toilet Roll

Around 80 WHSmith branches in hospital reception areas are to start stocking more in the way of essential groceries, with Sainsbury's helping the retailer to supply a wider range of take-home shopping for those stuck working at the coalfaces of our NHS sites. Read More >>

Medical Porn Enthusiasts Donate Stock to NHS

A niche subset of the porn industry that assists in the fetishising of medical staff and situations has stepped in to help the NHS in its hour/month/quarter of need, by donating its collection of unsold (and unused) masks and gowns for the public good. Read More >>

Government Steps in to Police Coronavirus Fake News on Social Media

A new little subdivision of the cleverest computer people within government has been established and pointed in a grim direction, with the aim of battling the tiresome and predictable menace that is fake news regarding the coronavirus. Read More >>

Driver Done for Motorway Trip With Wife in Car Boot

A car driver has been shamed for making a catalogue of mistakes, including, but not limited to, putting his wife in the boot for the duration of an 82-mile journey after buying windows from eBay. Read More >>

This New Coronavirus Test Can Detect the Disease in Five Minutes

Medical device maker Abbott has received emergency authorisation from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for its new molecular point-of-care Covid-19 test, which will allow healthcare providers in a variety of different settings to obtain results almost immediately. The new test can deliver positive results in as little as five minutes and negative results in 13 minutes. Read More >>

We’re Going to Need to Relearn Ancient Harvesting Skills

The government's issued a slightly conflicting message about us all having to head outside, into the fields, and all at once soon, otherwise the country will run out of raspberries to boil up into jam to line the bases of the cherry bakewells when the summer fruit picking season comes. Read More >>

Hotter Days May Leave You More Stressed, Depressed

The world is warming. That’s no secret. Extreme heat isn’t only dangerous for our physical health, though. New research shows hotter days may hurt our mental health as well. Read More >>

WhatsApp Coronavirus Chatbot is Working Now After a Rocky Launch

The Covid-19 advice chatbot available on WhatsApp went live yesterday, but it had a few hiccups. If you had issues and gave up trying to communicate with it, it's stopped its bullshit now, and is working as intended. Read More >>