Aldi Promises Never to Sell US Chlorinated Chicken Products

People power would appear to be working for once, as the supermarkets are now lining up to promise they won't sell terrible imported American meats regardless of what the government says or allows. Read More >>

Statistically Nearly Everyone Rages Against US Chlorinated Chicken Arriving Here

Loads of our politicians would appear to be preparing to die on a hill that smells of bleach and is covered in raw chicken carcasses, as ministers yet again refuse to completely rule out lowering our food standards to allow US meat imports in – despite the fact that the UK population is now well aware of and raging against the concept of poorly managed American farmed animal products. Read More >>

A Small Group of MPs is Still Banging on About Chlorinated Chicken

The war on chlorinated chicken and hormone-enhanced beef products is raging on, with a cross-party group of MPs demanding that both products are banned from entering the country for good – and not used as leverage in any future UK-US trade deal. Read More >>

Fried Greasy Meat is Now an Old Man’s Breakfast

Here's yet more bad news for sad men who have inadvertently landed on this site while trying to find the Daily Star's crowdfunder for the ringing of Big Ben, as news has broken that the traditional 'Full English' breakfast medley of assorted fried low-grade meats is on the way out with the youngsters. And you don't want to know what type of milk they're putting in their tea now. How do you even get milk out of one of those? Read More >>

Popular US Snack “Chlorinated Chicken” to Remain on Post-Brexit Banned Imports List

It turns out the entire Brexit scheme wasn't covertly pushed on us by the North American poultry industry after all – or it it was it has failed – because the UK's environment secretary has promised that oddly treated US meats that are currently banned from import thanks to EU protections will remain banned from import here even under any future UK/US trade realignment. Read More >>

Vegan Doughnuts and Steak Bakes are Coming to Greggs

Greggs is about to make being vegan as easy as not being vegan in the slightest, thanks to an imminent onslaught of new vegan products for 2020 that's to be led by a you-won't-believe-it vegan steak bake. Made with Quorn, but still. It's all about the pastry anyway, isn't it? Read More >>

Scientists Urge the World to Plan for Peak Meat

Abandoning meat isn’t easy. Believe me: I ate a beefy-ass bolognese for lunch yesterday and later munched on some chicken wings. Unfortunately, the meat industry is a growing source of carbon pollution, and continuing to let meat consumption grow could eat up a huge chunk of the world’s carbon budget by 2030. So, well, we ought to chill with the steak dinners. Read More >>

Could Protein Spun Like Candyfloss Make Lab-Grown Steak Possible?

Synthetic meat products might come even closer to the texture of slaughtered meats with the help of what are essentially modified candyfloss machines. Read More >>

The Internet Reacts to Pointless Burger That’s Half Meat and Half Plant-Based Protein

BrewDog craft brewery is in the business of craft beer, which some people out there find to be the purview of hipsters, and its not done itself any favours on that front with the latest addition to the menu. Read More >>

Rogue Scientists Tentatively Give the Sausage Diet the All Clear

A reanalysis of existing data covering the troughing of red meat says the benefits of cutting it out are extremely wafer thin, so much so that the demonisation of all things meaty and processed has perhaps gone way too far. Read More >>

Rogue Botanist Wants to Fill the UK With Meat-Eating Plants

Did you know we have carnivorous plants right here in the UK? Well we do, although they're dying out because of us, so maybe soon we won't have them any more. That's why some random botanist fellow is stepping up to the crease, as wants to repopulate our battered environments with his beloved but threatened insect-trapping flora. Read More >>

Thousands of Supermarket Chickens Killed by UK Heatwave

Thousands of chickens destined for the UK supermarkets died during last week's heatwave, as Tesco and Sainsbury's supplier Moy Park managed to let temperatures inside one of its poultry breeding facilities rise to deadly levels. Read More >>

Brazilian Chicken Destined for the UK Contaminated With Salmonella

Researchers investigating the Brazilian poultry production scene for fun or a podcast or something have warned on the stocks' high levels of the salmonella bug, with one million potentially infected birds thought to have hit the UK market over the last two years. Read More >>

Tesco Cuts Meat With Veg for Healthier Readymeals

Tesco has introduced a new form of foodstuff for the lazy or those looking to cut down on their meat intake without going completely cold pork, ham and turkey; minced meat products that have been diluted with chopped veg. Read More >>

Quorn Joins the Beetroot Blood Burger Trend

The people at Quorn, who must be a bit pissed off that meat alternatives are so popular now when they've been doing them for ages, is launching a newer, fatter, bloodier* burger for all the new vegans we have nowadays. Read More >>