Coronavirus: Police Abusing Their Powers Reissued With Instructions Not to Be Dicks

Following the UK lockdown's new rules and the approved coronavirus bill, we're just shocked to hear that police have been slapping people with fines and arrests willy-nilly, and generally getting high on their own farts. Happily, they've been told to calm the fuck down. Read More >>

A Controversial DNA Database Used to Solve Crimes Has Gone Commercial

A third-party DNA database that began as a passion project and later became embroiled in an ongoing debate over genetic privacy has now gone commercial. This week, the San Diego-based forensics company Verogen announced its acquisition of the controversial genealogy website GEDmatch. It’s anyone’s guess as to how the shift in ownership will affect its over one million users – or its recent repurposing as a controversial crime-solving tool. Read More >>

New Surveilliance Tool Can Identify Terrorists by Analysing Their V-Signs

Terrorists and enemy insurgents are difficult to identify because they often conceal their faces with scarves and masks. A new algorithm has shown surprising promise being able to identify individuals by their characteristic “V for victory” signs. Read More >>

London Police to Wear 20,000 Body Cameras by Next Year

As the world hurtles further and further towards Ubisoft's surveillance-hacking game Watch Dogs, the Mayor of London has announced that 20000 police in the capital could be wearing body cameras by the end of March next year. Read More >>

The Metropolitan Police Force Wants Water Cannons in Case of Future Rioting

Picking a bone with London's local authorities, should a demonstration crumble into a full-scale riot, could become akin to going for a terra firma swim, as it's been revealed that the Metropolitan police force is shopping about for water cannons. Read More >>

East London Flats Fitted With Surface-to-Air Missiles to Keep Olympics… Safe

The Ministry of Defence is planning to place surface-to-air missiles on the top of a building in East London, just in case some crazed terrorist lunatic tries to crash a plane into the opening ceremony or, god forbid, disrupt the women's high jump. Read More >>

London Police Broadcasting Booze Safety Warnings via Wi-Fi

Here's a novel way to spread misery at Christmas. The Met Police is requesting revellers activate Wi-Fi when out and about in parts of London, so it can ping them links to adverts about the danger of booze-related crimes. Read More >>