Pubs Will Stay Open and Homes are the Target of Wave Two Lockdowns

Another group of spokespeople have mumbled something contradictory through their face masks, today saying that there won't be a pubs/schools coin flip should covid-19 reemerge, but that we're likely to see more localised orders to stay at home and stop mingling with others. Read More >>

Government Advisor Warns it’s Pubs or Schools Open, But Not Both

The weird future world of rolling hard and soft and full or partial lockdowns looks set to be our new depressing normal, with one government advisor suggesting we may soon have to choose between having the pubs or the schools open within weeks – but not both. Read More >>

Australian Pub Bans Emus for Bad Behaviour

A rural Queensland pub has banned emus for wreaking absolute havoc. Frankly, you gotta respect their game. Read More >>

Cornish Pub Installs Electric Fence for Forced Social Distancing

The landlord of a Cornish pub has taken a typically Cornish approach to crowd control, by installing an electric fence along the bar to forcefully keep customers away from staff. That'll tell 'em, boy! Read More >>

Neverspoons App Highlights Your Nearest Non-Wetherspoon Pub

Everyone's promise never to darken a Wetherspoon pub again has been made a little easier by an app calling itself Neverspoons, designed to find independent pubs in the vicinity of each Wetherspoon factory outlet so you don't have to fund Tim Martin's lifestyle in any way. Read More >>

Wetherspoon Boosts Prices on UK’s Grand Pub Reopening Weekend

The Wetherspoon chain picked the date of July 4 for a series of price rises, with the entirely coincidental boost to the cost of everything it sells coinciding with the reopening of some of the nation's pubs to some of the nation's more unstoppable and won't-be-told drinkers. Read More >>

Guinness Owner Pumps £80m into Helping Pubs Reopen

Global brewer Diageo, owner of the Guinness brand and many other famed international social lubricants, has revealed a plan to support pub groups across the world with as much as $100m (£80m) in investment. The money is to assist in the installation of plastic screens, hand sanitiser pods, and all the other new ways pubs are about to transform into places as comfortable and welcoming as an emergency dental surgery but at least more hygienic places to get your teeth smashed out in at closing time. Read More >>

Eight Arrested After DIY Pub Barricade Lock-In

A basket of drink-related crimes were back on the menu in one Liverpool pub early on Monday morning, when a crowd of around 100 illicit drinkers shut themselves in for some proximity and bevvies; and turned violent when police arrived and tried to break up the party. Read More >>

Leaked Report Says Pubs & Restaurants are Go for 4th July Reopening

We could be about to see a forced-cheery Boris Johnson urging us all to get down the pub like the jolly old blokes we all are to put all this covid-19 business behind us, as leaked government reports suggest a July 4 reopening of much of the hospitality sector is about to be announced. Read More >>

Pub Chain Goes Rogue and Promises July 4 Reopening Regardless of Government Rules

If you haven't noticed that alcohol is readily available in supermarkets and are missing the taste and the spiralling sense of irresponsibility a few beers trigger, your luck's in. One pub chain is promising to reopen on July 4 no matter what the government says, and the even better news is that it's not Wetherspoons, so you won't have to break your promise never to go in a JDW on day one of actually being able to do so. Read More >>

Government Under Pressure to Weigh in on Early Reopening of Pubs With Beer Gardens

The hospitality industry is set to open next month, and it seems that's going to be case regardless of where we're at with the COVID-19 alert level (still at 4), but with rumours that establishments with beer gardens could be opening before the end of the month, business owners want to know what the hell's going on. Read More >>

Wetherspoon Reveals Reopening Plan and 2020’s Weird New Pub Rules

The Wetherspoon pub chain is desperate to reopen for our cheap food and drink thrills, and has already prepared for the government to give the order with an £11m investment in extra staff, hand sanitiser pods, screens to protect workers and putting a massive list of instructions inside every door on how to behave upon bravely entering a pub for the first time post-lockdown. Read More >>

Wetherspoon Plans Possible Reopening in June

Pub chain Wetherspoon seems to think it'll be all coming up roses again by June, as that's when it expects to be back in the business of selling disappointing foods to the elderly, dispensing infinite coffee, and offering a selection of beers with union flags on the pumps even if they were actually brewed in the Czech Republic. Read More >>

Police Spoil Scottish Pub’s Takeaway Pints Opening Plan

A pub in Edinburgh's sunny Leith has been shut by police, after attempting to get around the Everything Must Close state by... opening. But just for an hour or two, here and there, and people have to carry their beer home in mugs and rinsed-out milk jugs. But oh dear, someone's noticed and gone to the police. Read More >>

Lidl Plans Innovative On-Site Pubs

Lidl would appear to be attempting to start an all-out war on Wetherspoons, as the German discount supermarket has applied for planning permission to build a standalone pub on one of its sites in Northern Ireland. Read More >>