Don’t Make Toy Genitals Interactive

If you’re a caring and attentive parent and/or obsessed with Satanic, ritualised child trafficking, you’ll be familiar with the concept of “grooming,” in which an abuser slowly convinces a child that his or her sexual advances are normal and acceptable, culminating in the unthinkable. Read More >>

Pranksters Stream Porn During Zoom Hearing for Alleged 17-Year-Old Twitter Hacker

Pranksters disrupted judicial hearings on Wednesday for the 17-year-old Florida kid who allegedly hijacked the accounts of prominent Twitter users last month, according to multiple people on the teleconference call. There were several intrusions during the first attempt at the hearing, and it was finally stopped after pornography was streamed via Pornhub. Read More >>

elon musk
Elon Musk Invited to Egypt to Prove Pyramids Weren’t Built By Aliens

Last week Elon Musk tweeted about aliens building the pyramids. Now the Tesla CEO has been been invited to Egypt to prove they’re man-made. Read More >>

Cartoons Were Right? Bending a Rifle’s Barrel Backwards Will Actually Redirect a Bullet

In an experiment you should never, ever try at home, the experimenters at YouTube’s DemolitionRanch found that if you were strong enough to bend the barrel of a rifle back on itself (a clever manoeuvre Bugs Bunny often pulled on Elmer Fudd) the bullet would actually follow the curved path. Read More >>

Australian Pub Bans Emus for Bad Behaviour

A rural Queensland pub has banned emus for wreaking absolute havoc. Frankly, you gotta respect their game. Read More >>

donald trump
Twitter Trends are a Crime Against Me, Donald Trump, Tweets Donald Trump

Today in squirmy little squids squirting clouds of ink: Twitter trends that make the president look bad are somehow illegal, according to the president. Read More >>

I Tried Lynx’s Marmite Range and Now I Smell Like a Teenage Boy’s Lunchbox

I'm not sure how I ended up as Gizmodo UK's official Tester of Cursed Things, but apparently I am, because fresh from my ordeal with Heinz Salad Cream ice cream, I'm now the guinea pig for Lynx Africa Marmite. Read More >>

Someone in Canada Is Auctioning 50+ Life-Size Animatronic Dinos

Gather the coins in your couch cushions. On 6 August 2020, you can bid for over 50 life-size animatronic dinosaurs on AbleAuction. This is not a drill. I repeat: this is not a drill. Read More >>

Man Allegedly Spends £6,300 of Honeymoon Money On a Gaming PC, and We Have Questions

The R/relationship_advice subbreddit is an endless source of entertainment. Take, for instance, this incredible post: A distressed woman’s fiancé spent all $8,000 (about £6,300) of their honeymoon savings on a gaming PC, and she’s looking for advice on what to do. My natural instinct was to shout, “DUMP HIS ASS!” There are many, many red flags in this relationship, the least of which is, uh, £6,300 is a lot to spend on a gaming PC. Even some of the most extreme DIY builds only amount to around £4,000. Taking peripherals into account, that still doesn’t total £6,300... unless he also bought a new chair and desk. This is a mystery I need to solve, and due to my steady 25-year diet of Unsolved Mysteries, Cold Case Files, and Forensic Files, I absolutely cannot rest until the case is cracked. Read More >>

Of Course Disney World’s Reopening Video Works as Horror

In celebration of Disney World’s reopening after shutting down earlier this year in response to the still ongoing coronavirus pandemic, the Disney Parks and Jobs dropped a video over the weekend enthusiastically welcoming park guests “home.” Here, “home” refers to a theme park owned by a megacorporation. Read More >>

Peperami Made a Pork-Scented Spray to Find Lost Dogs

Meat stick snack Peperami has made a pork-smelling spray to try to lure back lost dogs. Read More >>

Whale Sharks Have Eyeballs Covered in Tiny Teeth

Marine biologists from Japan say whale sharks have eyeballs coated in tiny teeth, in a discovery unique to this hulking but gentle aquatic species. Read More >>

Heinz Ice Cream is a Thing Now

Welcome to Hell Summer, where everything is bonkers and every single headline has you asking "is it April Fools again?." Read More >>

Costa Now Does Coca-Cola Flavoured Coffee

Remember that deservedly-short-lived orange juice/milk mixed drink that existed in the UK for a bit in the nineties? Well, this isn't worse than that, but it's close. Read More >>

Tampon Company Launches Probiotics That Go Up Your Vag

The latest product to emerge from the strange world of women's health capitalism has us asking "what the flange?". Read More >>